Sep

28

Another Vocab Lesson!

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It’s time for another vocabulary lesson, complete with pictures!

Big Blue – Big Blue, also known as “The Beast,” if you’re me, is our truck. It’s an ‘89 Silverado and it truly is a beast. It got Bradley and I safely through a terribly blizzard while we were driving home (home home, not apartment home) from school one time. Another time, it got stuck in our driveway in about 4 inches of snow and my brother-in-law Jake had to push it out with his Jeep. Since I was on my way to a family function, I arrived before Jake and told people about how I’d just had to pull his Jeep out of a snow bank. I’m tricky like that. Unfortunately, The Beast/Big Blue has succumbed to a myriad of problems and is now a big blue lawn ornament.

Those unfamiliar with Big Blue might initially get it confused with…

Big Boy — Big Boy is our big tractor. Our only other tractor is a riding lawn mower, but that’s beside the point. Big Boy doesn’t have a whole lot to do on our little farm, but every once in a while you see it fly past with my grandpa at the wheel.

Dirt Pile — I don’t even know the story of the dirt pile, but it’s pretty self-explanatory. Somehow, there came to be a large pile of dirt. Grass and trees eventually grew over it, but the name never changed. We used to sled down this thing for hours in the winter time. Actually, it was probably only 15 minutes or so, but it felt like hours.

Rock Pile — The rock pile used to be the corn crib. Our property, along with our neighbors’ property, were all part of a large dairy farm. It was split up and we got the chunk with the buildings on it. Somehow the corn crib was reduced to a pile of concrete slabs, affectionately known as the rock pile. I used to climb on this all the time when I was a kid, and the bottom part would fill with water during particularly heavy flooding.

Tire Swing — This is probably the crowning glory of Big Boy. It’s a tire swing, but instead of using a modest tire, my dad and grandpa went all out and attached a huge tractor tire to the tree. There was lots of trial and error regarding rope length, rope stretching, etc. Big Boy hoisted the tire up off the ground, if I remember correctly. Mostly I remember watching the proceedings from the porch and wondering why we couldn’t have a normal tire swing. The answer to this question, I’ve found, is because we don’t have a normal anything.

Aug

14

Vocabulary Lesson

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Every region of the world has its own unique dialect. Our household is no exception. And so, in case any of you all every come hang out with my family, here’s a short vocabulary lesson.

Antanna – Pronunciation: An-tan-uh; The large radio antennae in the field next to our house. Any other antennae can be referred to with the proper pronunciation (an-ten-uh), but for some reason, you must add a random, nasally noise into the middle of this word when referring to the one by which we live.

Air Out – My mom is a big fan of fresh air, which leads to the opening up of the house in order to flush out stale air. Air Outs occur several times a day and during every season. You are not safe from air outs, even if it’s -40 degrees Fahrenheit outside. In fact, you can pretty much guarantee that the moment you get overly comfortable in the nice warm house, the doors will be opened so that icy air can fill your lungs and freeze off your fingers.

Baggies, The – Bag worms, which plague the evergreen trees and bushes on our property. My father, Destroyer of Baggies, goes out and picks them off, depositing them into a plastic sack. Don’t engage my parents in a conversation about The Baggies, though, because it will involve my mom describing how she prefers to squish them, complete with hand motions.

Wiley Marketers – Wiley Marketers are basically anyone who doesn’t leave a message. We have an intense, high-tech screening process through which our phone calls are filtered. Ok, actually, we just let the answering machine pick up. So if you’re calling our house, you really need to leave a message. Or at least start leaving a message, like, “Hey, it’s Kalin. *long pause* Anybody home? *long pause* Hellllo? *long pause, heavy sigh* Ok, well, *blah blah message blah*” and then usually halfway through the message, someone will pick up.
But if you’re silent, we won’t pick up. And then we’ll look at each other and talk about the Wiley Marketers and how they have no etiquette these days and how it’s weird that they’ve learned to disguise their voices to sound like Lil’s, and to talk about things that Lil would talk about, but how we shouldn’t pick up anyway.


This is just a very small sampling, but it will help you get your foot in the door of our lingo. Keep an eye out for future editions of the vocabulary lessons with which to educate yourselves!