Jan

30

This is Punishment

Filed Under aggie stuff, cattle, university farm | 6 Comments

Remember my last entry where I made up reported the reason that my blogging has been/possibly will be a little lax? If you read the comments, you can see that this didn’t fly too well with certain family members. So, due to the harassment, I’m writing a blog post, but you’re not going to like it.

Yesterday morning it was 55 degrees outside, which was lovely. We all went to class with crowns made of daisies in our hair and we frolicked about and enjoyed ourselves. By noon, the temperature had dropped to single digits and the worst wind imaginable was blowing snow into our eyes and onto the skin that was exposed because some people didn’t wear coats to class (I wore mine, luckily).

This morning it was 5 degrees as I drove out to the University Farm for my bovine reproduction class, for a little something I like to call Palpationpalooza.

We were palpating the cows in order to get our bearings regarding where the heck stuff is before we do any AI’ing, and to see how the calves were coming along. It was pretty fun, really. I wore approximately 212 layers, which were kind of a pain to take on and off before donning my shoulder-length glove and moving onto the chute.

For those not familiar with palpating techniques: yes, you must stick your arm in a cow’s butt because the repro tract is right below it. No, it’s not gross, unless you’re a total pansy (April, Marissa and Lil, I’m looking at you). After all, cow poo is really only grass and water with a little bit of fermentation.

After inserting your hand, you have to feel around for various things. That’s the part that freaks me out, because when palpating horses you have to be extremely careful to prevent any tearing of the rectal lining because they are so susceptible to infection. Your fingers must always be kept firmly together and you are basically limited to the space inside the rectum. Seeing any blood on your glove is extremely serious and can mean a life-or-death issue for the mare.

Cows however, are different. You still need to be gentle and keep your fingers together, but their rectal wall is strong enough that you can push around, sweep down and grasp the reproductive tract in your hand. This is actually necessary for AI’ing, because you have to manipulate the cervix (because of the interdigitated rings) in order to pass an AI rod through it. That’ll be later this semester, though, since we haven’t even started calving yet.

Today I palpated a little under 10 cows. All but one were bred, so I got to feel the calf heads in various positions. We checked 30 or 40 cows this morning, which means we were out in the cattle barn for a couple hours. We were all pretty much numb by the time we were finished, so it felt nice to get back to my warm apartment.

Bradley was extremely interested in exactly where I’d been and what I’d been doing until he suddenly backed away and gave me this dirty look like, “You’ve been rolling in something fabulous and you didn’t invite me.”

Don’t worry, soon I’ll go back to writing about the ferrets and their shenanigans.

Or maybe more about palpation.

Jan

28

The Plague

Filed Under school | 4 Comments

I know you all think that the time I spend not writing in this blog is carefully allotted between school work and thinking of things to write in this blog. This is true (of course), with the emphasis on school work (of course), but therein lies a problem:

There’s a plague going around campus, which I have so far avoided. Apparently it involves intense headaches and a sore throat, which all sounds rather unpleasant. One of the larger campus organizations (an honor fraternity or a service fraternity or something) had to cancel their meeting tonight because about half their members are sick.

Tonight a couple of my sorority sisters were having headaches and feeling achey, which normally would be no big deal. We have meetings on Monday nights and then I have a few classes with them, but beyond that I don’t have to be in close quarters with any disease pods throughout the week. Note that I said normally this would be no big deal. This week (of course) is Rush Week, which means that we have sorority events every single night.

Do you see my dilemma? I devote myself to two things and two things only:
1. School work
2. Thinking of things to write in this blog and occasionally writing them down
And (of course) I almost exclusively focus on #1.

So when I have to introduce some new activity like, say, avoiding the plague, something’s got to give. If only I had some buffer activities like focusing and unfocusing my eyes, or chauffeuring around my demanding dog, I wouldn’t have to make these tough choices. But alas, these frivolous activities are non- expendable existent, so the blog suffers.

And that, my friends, is the long and completely plausible explanation of why my blog has been a little slow as of late.

Jan

26

Groaner

Filed Under Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Hey, Olio, want to hear a joke?

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West.

He slides up to the bar and announces: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”

Jan

24

Overheard

Filed Under Uncategorized | 3 Comments

ACCOUNTING PROFESSOR: “Does anybody know what Rocky Balboa’s job was before he really started training for boxing?”

KID IN THE BACK: (gasping) “An accountant?!”

ACCOUNTING PROFESSOR: “. . . No.”

Jan

24

Kindie

Filed Under fond memories | 2 Comments

While stuck in bed battling Mr. Tum-Tumnus, I reminisced back to a simpler time in my life, but one which has some very strong memories.

Kindergarten.

We sat at little round tables with about 4 other students. I remember when one of the boys at our table threw up and all of the rest of us looked at him, and he looked at us, and we thought he’d just eaten glue or something because we were not the most astute kids on the block. But then we were evacuated to another table, where we all sat and shook our heads and marveled at how we just thought he’d eaten glue, but it turned out to be so much more grave than that.

And then there was the time another girl at my table accused me of not really watching Lamb Chop’s Play-Along. And I was livid. Absolutely furious, because that is the equivalent to character assassination for a kindergartener. She and I were friends throughout high school and I reminded her of the whole incident, which she’d conveniently forgotten. We laughed about it, and then I said, “Hush Puppy THIS!” and I decked her.

I’m fairly certain that it was mere days before I started going to kindergarten that I was informed that there is, in fact, a difference between a “K” and an “X.” Luckily, this lesson stuck, or else you might be reading “El Blog De Xalin” right now.

Jan

22

Vengeance is Mr. Tum-Tumnus’s

Filed Under Uncategorized | 2 Comments

I’m sure you all remember Mr. Tum-Tumnus, my stomach.

Mr. Tum-Tumnus and I were engaged in a violent battle this weekend due to the fact that I may have completely accidentally attempted to poison him with some bad food. In response, Mr. Tum-Tumnus rained hell down upon me in the form of the worst illness I’ve ever experienced.

It was quite a way to spend a three day weekend.

Jan

19

Some Thoughts for Saturday

Filed Under dogs, family, sisters | 3 Comments

1. My sister Lil has a birthday coming up. I called her to see what kind of present she wants, but she hasn’t called me back. Alas, I will be forced to gift her with a ferret taped to some popsicle sticks in the shape of her name.

2. If the blisteringly cold wind actually freezes my eye balls, will I still need contacts when they thaw out?

3. Has anyone successfully taught a dog the concept of post hoc ergo propter hoc (false causality)? I’m thinking of taking on this feat, because Bradley is constantly confusing correlation of causation (and I have told him as much and can you believe that he doesn’t care?) while interpreting actions leading up to car rides. Sometimes I feel him drawing conclusions, and I look over to find him staring at me. And I try not to make eye contact and I attempt to distract him by asking him how his hair ended up in my soup, but he is too wise for that. He leaps to his feet and sashays around my apartment in a way that clearly says, “You are wearing socks! I’ll wait for you in the car!”

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